If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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