Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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