I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
