i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
