i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
