someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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