why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
