i may or may not be watching the land before time
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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