Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
