dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
