I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
