You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
