He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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