Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
