Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
