I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
