do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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