haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
