I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
