I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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