Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
