there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
