Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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