Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
