:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
