very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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