Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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