He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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