They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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