Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
