im about as happy as oj after his trial
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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