are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
