can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
