90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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