**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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