This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
