Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Damn victory sex feels great
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
