I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
