You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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