ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize