Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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