i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
