She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
