On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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