Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
