Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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