His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
