It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
