there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
