just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
honey bunches of taint.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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